How to get rid of fear of spiders?

"K-Roll-PorscheTamer" (k-roll390) 09/21/2015 at 18:25 • Filed to: spiderphobia

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So yeah, I have a totally irrational fear(pretty sure it’s a phobia at this point of spiders, what do I do?? Or what would you do?

Unfortunately my solutions are morally wrong and unwise. I can’t use flamethrowers and WMDs to eradicate them, so what should I do? I can’t be in the same room as one if I see one, any form of arachnid freaks me out, real or fake, dead or alive, or even god damn pictures and videos scare me. I can’t even kill them I’m so damn terrified of them.

What to do? -_-

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 18:29

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I too have something of a fear of spiders, though it’s more of a hatred...I don’t run from them, but I need to kill them RIGHT NOW.

To me, that’s the only solution. I’m not interested in existing alongside them, so they must die. I’m basically like the people from Krikkit in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: there’s simply nothing else I can do, they have to go.

bob and john > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 18:31

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size 12 combat bot work pretty well.

also:

wiffleballtony > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 18:32

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I wouldn’t call it irrational, some of those bastards are deadly and smart. Tarantulas can recognize faces.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 09/21/2015 at 18:32

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I don’t run either, but I can’t kill them. Coexisting is impossible, but I can’t kill them. It’s a god damn stalemate.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > bob and john 09/21/2015 at 18:34

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Holy fuck no I would burn that door. Turn it to slag.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > wiffleballtony 09/21/2015 at 18:35

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They’re hell spawns. I don’t believe anyone that tells me spiders are more afraid of me than I am them.

Funktheduck > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 18:35

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I had a spider drop down in front of my face getting in my car today. I grabbed a piece of paper and gently lowered her to the ground. They're just bugs and most can't/won't harm you in any way

Tapas > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 18:38

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Take a note from Batman’s page...

I mean, not the parts where the parents die. The part where he sets up his lair in a cave full of bats.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Funktheduck 09/21/2015 at 18:39

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I think I’d personally find there nearest ground and swan dive into it and roll around until it’s off.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Tapas 09/21/2015 at 18:40

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So I should turn into Spider Man? And scare the shit out of others so they can share my dread?

djmt1 > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 18:41

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Live in house with a moth nest. You will gain a new appreciation for your arachnid friends admittedly from across the room with a rolled up newspaper in hand.

Funktheduck > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 18:42

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Then you probably wouldn't have handled the spider web I walked into this morning. The spider was in the corner of the web so I wasn't face first into a spider. The web covered half the door way. The spider itself was about as far as my thumb and about 2/3 as long.

TheOnelectronic > Funktheduck 09/21/2015 at 18:43

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Phobias aren’t logical, though. It’s like there’s a loose piece of wire connecting the “spider” and “HOLY SHIT ABSOLUTE TERROR” nodes of your brain.

bob and john > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 18:44

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I would have burned the car to the ground. the door isnt enough!

dogisbadob > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 18:44

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So cute you can’t be afraid :)

TheOnelectronic > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 18:47

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I used to be horribly arachnaphobic, and not just in a “Eww a spider!” kind of way. I’m talking full freakouts, panic attacks, and sleepless nights. (Spiders could be EVERYWHERE!)

Honestly? Exposure helps. Don’t throw yourself into a spider pit (I just got itchy typing that) but approach a small one from a distance. Watch it. Ride that edge of fear until it starts to blunt down, and then get a little closer. Just take things slow and methodically. Over time, that phobic response will go away.

Now, I kind of like having them around. I still don’t want one on me, and big close-up pictures still make my entire skin surface panic, but they eat flies and moths and shit and those things just irritate the hell out of me.

tl;dr it can be overcome, most spiderbros are pretty chill.

911e46z06 > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 18:47

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Wear easy-to-remove shoes for lightning fast spider killing. Dont try to defeat your phobia. Spiders are awful and dangerous and anyone who doesnt have a fear or at least a healthy respect for them is nuts.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > djmt1 09/21/2015 at 18:48

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Or I could not live in a house with a moth nest. :p

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Funktheduck 09/21/2015 at 18:48

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Yeah, I think I’d go comatose for a week or two.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > bob and john 09/21/2015 at 18:49

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Napalm?

Van Man, rocks the Man Van > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 18:49

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Spider?

911e46z06 > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 18:51

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When I find one outside I shoot it with a .22 or .17 so I dont have to get close.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > dogisbadob 09/21/2015 at 18:51

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10/10 would nuke from orbit, maybe.

djmt1 > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 18:53

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Sometimes you don’t have a choice after your mother decided to buy cheap fabric from Asia and then proceeded to stuff it in a warm cupboard next to the heater as it was the wrong colour and not tell you. Only for you to then open the cupboard in question looking for a pillow and be swarmed by a bazillion brown hairy terrors which still to this day cause mighty rage THREE years later.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > TheOnelectronic 09/21/2015 at 18:56

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That’s pretty much me for the past 5 years. Minus the sleepless nights though. I can stare and watch them from a distance, only so I can track it so it doesn’t hide away to live another day. The worst thing is that there was a time where I was fascinated by them and loved them. I have no idea what happened.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > 911e46z06 09/21/2015 at 18:56

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I’m scared of even the most basic house spiders and daddy long legs... -_-

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > 911e46z06 09/21/2015 at 18:57

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I used to use a bb pistol until I realized that without a scope I can’t aim for shit.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > djmt1 09/21/2015 at 18:58

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That’s awful...

Tapas > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 19:01

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You can be a Spider man in the closet *snickers* so as to save your loved ones from encoutering a barrage of spiders.

Oh, this reminded me of these other funny sorta unrelated (NSFW) things about spiders:

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Tapas 09/21/2015 at 19:04

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No way in hell I want to be scientifically accurate spider man.

BmanUltima's car still hasn't been fixed yet, he'll get on it tomorrow, honest. > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 19:05

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Don’t jump from a moving vehicle.

See: The Oppo Post directly after this one.

911e46z06 > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 19:05

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No, see daddy long legs is your friend. They only have 2 eyes, as opposed to 8, making them only a quarter as creepy. Also, nothing else looks like them, so you can immediately identify them as harmless. Finally, and most importantly, they eat spiders. I’ve been nurturing a daddy longlegs infestation in my shop for years.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > 911e46z06 09/21/2015 at 19:08

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You nurture the infestation????? I’ve never seen one eat a spider or anything for that matter, and they still have many legs that freak me out. I know some are harmless, but their appearance is more than enough to scare me.

911e46z06 > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 19:09

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Yeah dude. There are real spider carcasses everywhere. The DLs do work.

Tapas > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 19:10

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Haha you dont have to mutate. Just share a safe space with the non radioactive ones for a short time? They do eat insects, so there’s that...

But take solace in the fact that their anatomy is so fucked up lol

Oh oh, get a lizard. Them lizards love to eat spiders :)

Anon > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 19:11

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I dislike spiders too. However I live in Louisana where half the spiders will give you severe nerve damage.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > 911e46z06 09/21/2015 at 19:13

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I can’t even be in the same room as a carcass if I know it’s there; especially multiple. Do they eat the carcasses??

scoob > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 19:14

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Completely missed opportunity for this beauty:

Milky > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 19:16

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You don't get rid of the fear, you just murder death kill every single one you see.

911e46z06 > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 19:21

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I think they kind of suck out the juice and leave a dried out husk

Übel > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 19:28

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Consume one to absorb its power

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Anon 09/21/2015 at 19:34

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Brutal. Carry a torch and RAID wherever you go?

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > scoob 09/21/2015 at 19:36

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But the headlights...

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Milky 09/21/2015 at 19:37

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But how can I do that when I’m to mortified to kill one. I prefer long range tools and have none for spiders. At least none that are house-friendly.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > 911e46z06 09/21/2015 at 19:37

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That’s nasty. I don’t want husks laying all over the place, I want complete termination.

Satoshi "Zipang" Katsura > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 19:40

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I bought myself a praying mantis.

Pros: Willingly has spiders for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Cons: They molt too frequently; spray bottle is mandatory.

911e46z06 > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 19:40

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I would rather have a thousand husks than one live black widow. Let the daddy longlegs do the hunting, im fine with sweeping up afterwards.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Satoshi "Zipang" Katsura 09/21/2015 at 19:45

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Why do you need a spray bottle?

jkm7680 > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 19:48

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Jumping spiders. Look them up. They are extremely adorable and friendly.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > 911e46z06 09/21/2015 at 19:49

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I suppose...But what happens if they decide to take over?

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > jkm7680 09/21/2015 at 19:51

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I know what they are and what they look like and those cute and adorable black eyes and curiosity and whatnot, they are the most tolerable as they never get indoors here nor do they bother me like the rest.

But the minute they jump on me, the diplomatic immunity ends.

PS9 > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 20:02

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Don’t get rid of it. Cultivate it instead. Grow it. Feed it. Then write it into a well constructed narrative you can build a multimillion dollar book selling career off of.

jkm7680 > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 20:03

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LOL, I’ve never had one jump on me. They just look at you and move their front legs up and down.

MuchWagon > bob and john 09/21/2015 at 20:30

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THAT is why I dont like spiders.

MuchWagon > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 20:34

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I got the good advice to watch them until I was bored. Meaning my heart stopped beating fast, I stopped being scared... It doesn’t happen in one go, and I still don’t like them, but I’ve gone from pretty phobic to not freaking out when a small one gets on me, or I find a web living one in the house. I just leave it.

So find one in a web. And just stare at it. For as long as you can. When you stop because you are bored. And not freaked, you know it’s working. You can use pix too I guess.

Satoshi "Zipang" Katsura > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 20:37

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You do not want them molting in a dry location. That, and hydration most of the time.

911e46z06 > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 20:42

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They wont. Theyre pretty chill.

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 20:46

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Brakleen and a BBQ lighter?

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > PS9 09/21/2015 at 21:03

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Who the hell is that??

Santiago of Escuderia Boricua > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 21:40

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Most ways of getting over phobias involve exposure to the source...

Funktheduck > TheOnelectronic 09/21/2015 at 21:45

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Yeah. The closest thing I have to a phobia is I hate ticks. They carry disease so it's justified.

Funktheduck > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 09/21/2015 at 21:46

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It's ok. I nearly crashed once because I had a tick crawling up my inner thigh. I killed it with extreme prejudice